There was a post on Melissa's site a little while back that said she felt excited "in a screamy kind of way".
That's how it is. From waking to sleeping to waking again, to showering and getting dressed to go to work (yes, work!). Twisting my rings on my fingers and spritzing Amber Romance in my hair just in case I run into him. Snuggling deep into pillows at night and sighing, unabashed at the sparkle in my eyes and the dreamy quality in the way I speak.
From "I miss you" to "I shattered you" to "please forgive me" and "come back". Long conversations in my tiny bathroom, me perched on the edge of the tub, him on the closed toilet lid. (Why is it that we have some of our best talks there?)
So quietly, I know that I can't go back. Not yet. But the letter curled under my windshield wiper this morning, signed with four x's and a P.S., made me smile outrageously.
What a long road. But my best friend is back in my life, and wanting me back in his. He is trying, and I can see it.
Glorious day.